Alchemy

In a moment of fuzzy logic intervention, I realized that a lot of factors in my life are convening around an old, antiquated notion of alchemy. This all happened as it dawned on me that my name is 'Goldman', that I'm studying chemistry at the university, and that I've been long pondering the notion of transformation (the productive inward sort.)

Alchemy, if you haven't already heard, is a practice of trying to create gold. That is the common understanding at least. With popular fiction writers such as Dan Brown, the idea that such a transformation could be less about vast riches and more realistically about a mystical process, has entered into mainstream wisdom. I cracked out on 'The Lost Symbol' at least. It was a real page turner.

So, the idea of enlightenment as gold, and the transformation from an ignorant state to one of seeing is the act of mystical alchemy. I've been toying with the idea of the crucifiction as such a transformation as well, but that's something entirely different and for another time. I will briefly mention that I've been asking believers for years what it means that "Christ died for my sins". The best explanation that I have come up with is one that I made up myself!

Additionally, I am pretty hardcore about how I approach a life in music. I am certainly not one to shy away from a lifestyle that doesn't produce financial gain and is largely an up-hill battle in every sense (but possesses the characteristics of illumination through the creation and performance of music). Music is the final piece of the puzzle for me. In short, the life of the alchemist is identical to that of a "struggling" musician insofar as a musician pursues gold in this day-and-age with little certainty that gold will ever be produced. It dawned on me that many of the alchemists of days long passed likely pondered the futility of their own work, but moved forth none-the-less.

I have always fought against the grain, and can't help it. Like my brief attempt at learning the language of Irish (one believed to be dead), I tend to pursue with passion activities that hold little value in the modern world. People keep asking me what I intend to do with Chemistry and to be honest, I really don't know. I don't know what the world will look like when I am done with my degree, I'm not even exactly sure what chemists of this day and age do with their time.

I am also well into my first year of Biology. As someone who has been long searching for some sort of spiritual structure, Biology has provided for me just that. It is quite literally the study of life. Often times when I hear people talking about life, and I hear the word uttered out loud, I get a tingling feeling that is positive. The word 'life' invokes emotion in me. Even just hearing people say that they need to 'get a life' excites me. Why is this? Well, this word that we use so frequently packs a whole lot of intensity within itself and it resonates with me. Perhaps I am at that end of the spectrum where life is the utmost in divinity. We watched a documentary about gangbangers in LA the other day and one of the interviewees said that the first step in joining the gang was to lose any value that you may have for life. This is the spectrum that I speak of and I mean to exist in it only at the other end, where life is spiritually divine. I will never understand why Christianity often requires that its flock reject science in favor of faith. Totally misguided.

Turning lead into gold is totally different than trying to polish a turd.

That being said, I have the day off today... band practice later. I think I will try and write some more hit songs that no one will ever hear. I will try to transform a blank sheet of paper into a new song that allows itself to be performed and allows a heightened conversation between performer and listener. I will try and balance literal meaning and poetic allegory and guild the whole thing with rock 'n roll escapism in the divine, unspeakable name of FUN. I'll let you know how it all turns out, believe me.

adam