Eden

Politics is (are?) silly. I used to write about political impressionisms here on this secede from the union space but I feel that my rantings were no greater than those idiotic user comments that follow each news article on the internet. I used to feel that there was a certain profile about the people that commented on news articles. They were usually very passionate and not often thoughtful. The fact that everyone has an opinion has been well documented as apparently in addition everyone has an anal orifice as well. It’s nice that everyone gets to sound off although I personally tend to think that such an overexposure to opinions has also revealed the deeply flawed American ego.

Ego is an interesting concept that I became both interested and disinterested in back during high school days. Ego is a somewhat elusive and abstract concept that falls somewhere within the domain of science and elsewhere in spirituality and self-improvement.

Charles Manson, as an example, has defined ego in song. “Old Ego is a too much thing,” he sings in sloppy verse. The Beach Boys remind us to “hang on” to our ego. Clearly, there’s been some thought in non-scientific or spiritual circles about this identity characteristic of ego.

Ego’s like something that stands in one’s way to being spiritually whole or more specifically, to be able to SEE more realistically. Ego is often viewed as a personality flaw that should be “killed”. Kill your ego. What does it mean? Become purely in the present and not elsewhere in any way. Remove your “self” from all equations. Swallow your pride. In some circles, pride is a negative characteristic, however on a more visible plane we worship pride such as “proud to be an American”. The last statement illustrates the disconnect we face in regards to our national identity and some eastern beliefs regarding the wholeness of the self.

I’m writing about this because I’ve reintegrated the idea of ego into my current meditations. I typically think it unhealthy to spend too much time on the subject of ego philosophically without the accompaniment of a disciplined practice of meditation and that sort of contemplative self-realization. I really think it’s unhealthy to become overly concerned with personality issues on the level of self-diagnosis and treatment and it can be damaging to indulge in self-correcting practices without the aid of a mentor. I liken this portion of my thoughts to the late sixties counter-culture movement insofar as it wrestled with eastern philosophy while simultaneously indulging in LSD.

It is perhaps the spiritual awakening brought about by the use of LSD that perfectly exemplifies this spiritual dilemma I am trying to describe. The LSD awakening shows a person something about themselves and the larger universe that perhaps they have never seen before and a lifetime of meditation and unglamorous self-reflection perfects it. So, the use of drugs is a somewhat misleading enlightenment in the absence of any follow-through.

What we have here in the information age is a lot of noise. I, personally, like to read and as such I find myself reading a lot of different perspectives and would conjure up the word “eclectic” to describe my interests in the cosmos of available writings. Insofar as American politics is concerned, I am constantly interested in all that it drudges up in the best and worst of us and I especially like, as of late, to read about the opposition (whatever that entails.) I’ve perhaps said in previous postings that I really like reading what artists have to say about current affairs and that it is wrong to expect them to just “shut up and play” because they are often conduits of thought and emotion in a way that politicians could never be. An interesting and thoughtful analysis is being sought by whatever means.

I have no real love for any particular political party. I have no real love for any organized religion. I am, however, both political and spiritual and as such, it sometimes feels like I am adrift at sea among my fellow people. It is a challenge to find a sense of place through staunch independence as if to be without anchor or foundation but it can and will be done.

As such, I seek honest discussion and I crave mad rantings in order to cultivate understanding from a variety of perspectives both weird and wired. Since the mainstream media offers us an abundance of hoopla, you take what you can get. There’s an underlying ego in so much communication. The worst of it is distracting and misleading and likely misdirected. How do we address issues without living entirely in our own head about them? How do we communicate with one another?

I know there’s a lot of people out there who simply want to “fix the problems of the world” whatever those are. We need to fix ourselves first, naturally. Democracy needs to rise above “mob rule” which is pretty much what it is if you set the bar really low. Any institution that speaks out against thinking, learning, or knowing needs to be red flagged. I’m not saying these organizations should be abolished, but our values need to sway toward making a thoughtful analysis of the world and of our lives. I think we need to consider some different thoughtful lifestyles. We need to acknowledge out loud how difficult it is to communicate with those whom we don’t agree with. We need to realize how our words are stumbling blocks and that they don’t represent reality all that well. We are limited beings and our restrictions encourage a certain humility.

I guess that my problem is that I care about people and I want an impossible utopia for my own life and for my world. I am privileged in so many ways to be healthy and to be able to speak openly and to have had an education (that is ongoing). I am gifted with a certain amount of fortune and good sense. I am Adam and my coordinates are thus. My own “ego” flares up frequently and sometimes it is only noticed by me and me alone, in my head. Other times, I make the argument that the music I write and perform allows for a certain celebration of the ego, an indulgence in the blues, poverty, mental disturbance, and loneliness. I remind myself that people around me are not characters in my own West Side Story. They really exist. They want health and longevity for themselves and their families just as I do.

I just thought I’d take a few minutes to put some ideas down because it is very rewarding to think “out loud” so-to-speak, to test one’s ideas on paper. It is important to have ideas first-and-foremost and to put them in a proper perspective so that they are not misguided or irresponsible. I feel that we need to check ourselves at the door more frequently, step back from ourselves and take a look at what we are missing is crucial. I often feel that the ways in which my perspective is lacking leaves me vulnerable and that such an Achilles heel is a threat and a deficit. I know that a lot of people are angry and that the delicate balance of civilization can be offset easily and that anger and violence will likely follow closely behind. I’m trying to figure out ways to raise the bar as much as possible for myself and advance a sense of wisdom and joy about life. We are better than our frustrations and we can see farther than the limitations of our eyes and we can rise above our flawed intellects. Is that not the lesson of the Garden of Eden, that a negative combination of the ego and the intellect can make us corrupt in wisdom and sight? I guess there’s something good in there to think about.